Confessions of a Millennial

After realizing that we got fingercuff'd by Epstein and Maxwell's identity war, I can declare that the world didn't need our dumb ass generation

A month ago I lost my Stone Island Trapper Hat in a cab. I called 311, I got the medallion, located the driver, told him I’d pay $200, but he refused to bring my hat back.

I was heart broken.

All I could think about was this hat.

I projected the desire for my hat onto every thing I encountered. When I took my son to Barnes & Noble, all I could think about was this hat and this book by Jon Klassen spoke to me.

Before even reading it, I sent a photo of the cover to the cab driver.

He never responded.

But I scanned this book and it made me feel better that this bear was going through a similar predicament.

I identified with him.

I identified with an animated bear in the children’s section of a barnes and fucking noble like it was a culture war but really I just wanted my god damn hat back.