Let's Build Fam
Building as a cover for male intimacy
On Tuesday’s episode of Canal Street Dreams, we speak to Claire Landsbaum about how Come Undone is in her words “lesbian coded”, which got Natashia talking about how I bond with the homies.
My love language is acts of service.
I want to be of service; I like to build things; and it’s how I bond. Natashia laughed that I don’t pick the person who’s best for a job ever.
I pick the person that I want to be friends with, which can at times be a comedy of errors if the work becomes accidentally successful and I’m stuck carrying the homie through the process.
It’s happened frequently, but whenever I stop to remember that the point of the exercise was to “build” with the homie, I find peace.
It’s ignorant and sophmoric, but I’m incapable of virtue signaling and pretending I’m not ignorant and sophmoric so I’ma keep it funky and admit that amongst men of my age, we frequently say idiotic things like:
“It’s not gay if…”
“It’s not gay if we getting money.”
“It’s not gay if it’s for the Knicks.”
“It’s not gay if you say no homo before you show me that dick pic you just sent.”
It’s important to acknowledge how idiotic men are as a species and also how badly we all want intimacy… with other men.
I Love You, Man is one of my favorite survey works on the topic.
It has some fantastic moments and is a hysterical film, but I’d like to go deeper into the shame and fear involved when doing male intimacy.
